Something That Produces Results

Dear Mr. Blog,

Why does life seem to cycle?  Maybe not with the same leading male and female but, the situation.  Whether it be breaking a toe rounding a bed or making the hardest decision in life; to confront or not to confront?  You don't want to see these things happen to the ones you love but, you only seem to cycle the bad stuff.  Recycling garbage to make more garbage and it all just ends up littering the world anyways.  I know that that is a little bit presumptive of me Mr. Blog but, goodness, all I want is to make it all better.

I may not be even two decades old yet, but I feel a strange wisdom when it comes to a lot of situations because I went through them earlier then most.  While my generation was doing the party thing I was learning how to deal with some stuff I feel they are all starting to recognize as real.  All these feelings, just open up old wounds for me.  Things, I really wish wouldn't have left a scar but gives me comfort to know that you will be okay.  Life goes on, God will carry you and someone will find you and protect your heart from feeling that way ever again.  I know in my heart that everything will be fine and I hope you read this.

So, Mr. Blog, as the snow keeps falling and time flies by, I stand listening to Jimmy Eat World and watching Friday Night Lights with hope in my heart for the future.  I lied earlier to you, the good stuff cycles too, it's just no one talks about when everything is good it seems pompous.  So give me hell, I'll show you what it looks like to persevere.

Sincerely,

Stephanie Mae

Toodles.

Carboxylic Acid

So, Im sitting in CHemistry and I am so flippin' bored but, ti's the last time I will be in this class and I am so happy and thankful for that.  I finally caught up on the blogs I follow and man I felt like writing!  My winter break is in a week! Meaning that right now I will have finished all my exams in 7 days.  That is probably the best feeling ever, well, right after actually having finished my finals.  I'm a little anxious because I feel like everyone that sits behind me in Chemistry is probably reading what I am writing on here.  Creeping over my shoulder like I probably would except I wouldn't be able to read the fine print so I would be looking but there would be no comprehension.  I wish I had my glasses, they have been broken since September and people don't even know that I were them haha.  I kind of want some new frames too, the other ones just don't fit my personality.  It would be sweet if they were like Guccie or something but I would rather have the look that I wanted then the name brand.  Kind of like my Target band boots I am wearing right now.  May not be Uggz or Bearpaw or Emus but, I look good and I feel good because I spent under $30.00 on them.  How the crap do you spell Uggz I don't even remember. Wow. That is a step forward from my brand addiction I began last year right around now when I started to work at the Buckle.  Don't get me wrong, my jeans must be well made and I will not buy them from Target but, I can't get enough of the cardigans and such from there! I really want a plaid shirt I saw online from Forever 21 and let me tell you, it is ca-ute!  I want it to be a little bigger on me so that its loose and I don't know, I have been feeling boys clothes lately with cute girly accessories or my ripped jeans.  It just looks good and I have gotten lazy in my style.  I can't wait to make some money over break!!! I need to get back on my feet!  I know that is very materialistic of me and I should be looking forward to Christmas and family time but, I am so poor it is not even funny.  I have a really good idea for a present for my mother for Christmas.  I'm not gonna spill the beans because some how I think she will find out what it is and it isn't refined yet but, I'll post a picture (probs) of it when I am finished with it.  

I know everyone knows this but I just need to say, boys are so stupid.  They just can't figure out what a girl thinks is gross and what we think is awesome.  Number one, if you act like you couldn't wait to get rid of your last girlfriend, I will not want to talk to you! Look at your ex-girlfriend! I would not want to be her (or your rebound because you just broke up!).  I feel like the boys in college are worse then girls when it comes to rebound relationships.  I would rather talk to a boy who hasn't dated anyone then one that broke up with his girlfriend four days ago.  Number two,  if you want to call me, just do it.  I don't care how long it has been since the last time I talked to you as long as it isn't every five minutes!  If you wait a week and a half, I will move on because I'll think your not interested and it is just plain frustrating if you play hard to get.  That is my job.  Number three,  I would rather have you call me then text me.  Sub-note A, It makes me feel special. Sub-note B, I'm bad at using my qwerty keypad so I won't say as much as I want and sub-note C, quit filling up my inbox!!!  I would say stop using up my texts but, I have unlimited.  Anyways, that is the end of my rant on boys. Haha.

Toodles!

Inside Out Yeah

Ok, new train of thought and I will not mess this message up.  I'm feeling kind of strange today.  I don't know if I can explain it without alienating myself and others so I'm pretty much going to leave it at that and that I hate realizing the truth about people but whatever, life goes on and you meet new people and if they are meant to stay in your lives forever, you will stay in contact if not then well, they shaped you for the future.  I really wish that I had a job.  I mean, life would have been so much easier today because I would have gotten my important christmas shopping half way done!  Stupid college students with their stupid jobs that I should have.  I think that it is time to get it all together.  Over break, which starts in about a week and two days (actually that is exactly when it starts ha) I really want to get a routine going.  I watched the Victoria Secret Fashion Show tonight and it made me really self conscious and I even did a mini workout (more like the warm up to a warm up but, ya know) while watching it.  Did I mention I am extremely excited for this Christmas season!  I've already overplayed the Paul McCartney christmas song and I am simply having a wonderful Christmas time! Have you ever watched that music video!? It's flippin' 80's to the max! Haha. Ok I planned on getting some actual sleep tonight like, a dec REM sleep cycle so, excuse me.

22 days till Christmas!

Toodles!

Screening My Phone Calls

So, Thanksgiving break, what up.  It was really nice just to go home and see my family and my friends but, it got to a point that in the middle of my stay, I just wanted to get back to college.  I was sick of my mom, sick of having to let people know what I am doing and actually having to drive more then five minutes to do it!  I mean come on, there is not one decent restaurant that I would go to five minutes from where I live.  I will go on the freeway, through downtown traffic, then deal with one way streets and parallel parking before I will eat at the Corner Pub.  Trust me, it's as raunchy as it sounds.  But, when it came to seeing people that I miss from high school, I never wanted the night to end honestly.  I love my friends and could probably have played Rock Band for another good ten years before I would have decided it was time for a water break.  Isn't it crazy that when it comes the your family, the people that care about you the most and would do anything for you, are the people you want to get away from?  If I would have spent one more night watching movies and whatever with my family, I would have been begging to leave earlier and probably would have gotten my laundry done instead of paying seven dollars. [[Brief Intermission]] I am so happy that this blog saves itself randomly because I wrote so much more on this then what we see but I didn't save it or anything and clicked post and my internet wasn't working!! Blah! It's okay tho because there is still quite a bit of what I wrote.[[Brief Intermission Over]]  I have no idea what else I wrote on this.  Dangit!  Oh well it has been two days since I wrote the above statement and I am completely on a different mind set now.  I need a different topic. Haha.

Toodles!

Drowning Myself In Glucose

Ok, so the past couple of days have been crazy!  I mean seriously I have never meant this more in my life but, TGIF!  I get to register (finally!) tomorrow and life all around after 1p.m. will just be better.  My tentative sched is a little bit intimidating but I just need to buckle down and do work next semester otherwise I'll have to work harder when my classes get harder and I'm thinking that is worse.  Anyways, I had a dream the other night and I've been obsessing about it ever since.  Not the exact content of the dream but it had the main character from the movie Wanted in it and he was also in Atonement and Becoming Jane and whatever anyways,  it started out with this woman, I don't know who, who kidnapped me and brought me to the main character of Wanted (let's call him John because I don't know his real name).  So I am in what looks like downtown Milwaukee by the bus stop or train depot I don't know, it started out as a bus stop and transmorphed into a train depot, and I tell John I'm going to go pee or something to get away from him out of sight and into this station.  I get to the desk and try to get a train that is leaving and going to my destination (the station looks like the underbelly of a London bridge all cobble-stoney) and John comes running down the street and turns and sees me and yells "Stephanie!" and I'm like craaaap and he runs up with this concerned look on his face and says dramatically "Why did you leave me like that! Were you planning on running? But. . . I love you." I know what? What just happened to my kidnap dream? I don't know but we ended up on the train being all cutesy and running away together.  Since this dream, all I can think about is falling in love and finding that someone and I feel like everyone around me will probably and has at least someone they care about that way and I just seem to push people away.  I am destined to be a cat lady, or I am just giving myself a headache over something that isn't exactly a priority in my 18 year old state.  I think that it's the ladder.  Anywho,  I really just wanted to share part of my lovey dovey dream that consumed my thought for 3 days and made me want to sleep more to dream that dream to have those feelings again.  But smashie, I'll get them in real life one day!  Off to bed to get this week over with!

Toodles!

Really? Really Though?

OK, so I normally will not comment twice in one night but I think it is necessary.  My grandmother, cute ole Judy Lindert, got her hand hacked by a wood splitter today and I'm just really freaked out about it.  Honestly, my grandparents and my youngest uncle live in Mountain, Wisconsin (a couple minutes from Crivitiz if you know northern Wisconsin) in the middle of nowhere away from most of the family.  I know it's a nice area but not a place for aging grandparents to chop their hands off or film tornadoes on rooftops (good ole Grandpa Rolly. It is flippin' insane they need to come down into civilization so we can be there for them when it comes to that time so that we will be able to say everything we need to say.  Ah, I love them to death but, I don't not want to be there because of driving time.  Anyways I have class in about 7 hours and 20 mins. It is time for bed.

Toodles!

Amy's Birthday

So today was my roommate's birthday and man did we do some stuff haha.  Well Priscilla, Lauren and I popped balloons with flotsam (heh heh) in them at midnight and started screaming happy birthday and Amy had to ask where the nudity was so we gave it to her haha.  After that she opened Pricsilla and my presents and was super happy and we drank some bubbly and stayed up way too late for a 7:30 start, which didn't happen.  Anywho, I also made Amy a video, actually two which are awesome and you should check them out on Facebook.   I basically spent my whole day on the second video :-), I'm very proud actually.

Other then that today has been really chill, I'm excited for later because of the RA meeting and I hope that it's not too long so I can go bowling.  I honestly really hope that everything works out for the best.

If your comfortable with it, please pray for my sister.  She is having a rough time at college and just needs some back-up.  Also that everything works out for everyone and their spring semester, I'm really worried about getting to register on time but I know I should just let the pieces fall where they might.

Toodles!

Here We Go

Ok, so my beautiful roommate Amy Lynn Lancette, made a blog early this day (www.myblackheels.blogspot.com) and I went to it and thought wow! this is cool and something I would be interested in and she goes "Then make one!" and here I am!  First things first, if you don't know me and want to read my blog, go ahead! Just don't be a creeper.  Second, the name of my blog does have meaning.  The crazy old (but awesome!!) Latin teacher at my high school wrote this phrase down for me as in a description of what he thinks of me and told me to look it up if I cared what he thinks of me.  Seriosuly, this dude was so cool, he knew everyone! He had friends that worked in Italy in some of the beautiful churches as monks or composers or something.  Apparently he worked there too or something I don't know.  Anywho, I digress, I went home later and looked up what it meant on my PC and it technically means "not of sound mind" in other words, insane or crazy.  It is kind of difficult to write this right now because I am watching Mean Girls.  I forgot how much I love this movie!  Alright more on this later, I can't concentrate and I need to help Amy concentrate on her tenative schedule for spring semester.

Toodles!